Remember Maggie - Paul Wesley’s friend who suffered brain cancer - this is her thank you message:
"8 weeks ago I sat in this chair and heard BRAIN TUMOR. Too big for radiation. Too big to wait. There aren’t enough words for what came after. Weeks ago I sat in this chair again (dear friend by my side) and heard, "Tumor is gone. Surgery was a success." Life before and after brain surgery. There is a line. And I hope there always will be. While recovery is hard, it’s painful - pain like you can’t imagine - and unbearably scary, it has revealed something I cling to in my lowest moments - and by cling I mean death grip won’t let go desperation. Life is only about love. I got love from a handful of friends who quite literally saved my life. Even with insurance this surgery is not affordable for most, not even sort of. Then there’s time off work. The world doesn’t stop. Rent is still due. Funny enough dying seemed like the only logical option. Bc of my friends and a few thousand amazing, beautiful, perfect strangers, I’m alive and recovering. Just now able to, I’m reading notes from everyone. I love so many people that I don’t even know. There’s no way to thank people in a way that could be huge enough to suffice. Recovery is up and down. Sometimes hour-to-hour. Sometimes minute-to-minute. You can’t cheat with brain surgery. Your body allows what it allows. There are dozens of bizarre side effects. My senses have changed. I’ll never smell again. Food isn’t enjoyable. I look different. Those are the easy ones. Post surgery there are weeks of pain and madness. Relearning simple tasks like reading, walking, focusing has been ugly, messy and frustrating. I’ll spend the next 10 years in MRIs. I can swallow that only bc of the love given to me. My friends have driven me to doctor appts, taken notes in PT sessions, babysat me while bailing on actual fun, grocery shopped, cooked, cleaned, sat in MRIs WITH ME, made me laugh, forgiven me for crying, for having a string of shit days. I keep waiting for them to say, "I’m done. This is taking too long. This is not fun." But they don’t. And that touches the deepest parts of me. Daily, this is the hardest time of my life, but I am lucky. I am grateful. Thank you.